A Southern Belle with Northern Roots/Junkflirt

I have a new phone, a Blackberry. They call it a smart phone, I think because it makes me feel stupid. It does amazing things; I don't know half of them. It will tell me when I have an e-mail or a Facebook notification, even at 2:00 AM and 4:00 AM. It took me two nights until I figured out how to turn off that beep.

I can write myself a note or record myself a message.
" Shannon, remember to get eggs at the store."
I am willing to bet I will be standing in the produce aisle trying to find the note to remind myself of what I need, and end up deleting it before I ever hear it.

I have a full keyboard so I may text with ease!
I can even text and walk in the mall at the same time. I am sure that was a sight to see, an obvious new Blackberry owner in her 40's weaving in front of J C Pennys, starting at a 2" screen at arms length in front of her- squinting- texting away. I was proud of myself for not running into anyone. Then, I realized they all saw me coming - and got the heck out of the way!

My contact list can store every bit of information about me and all my friends, their numbers, where they live (it comes with maps and GPS so I can find them). It stores birthdays and anniversaries, I should never forget anything again.
Except eggs.

I guess there are some Blackberry rules.
1. Never text and walk in the mall past the age of 40.
2. Never leave home without your Blackberry. You will be helpless because everything you need to know is in it and you have burned up all your brain cells and memory capacity while figuring out how to enter all that information.
3. Never loose your Blackberry. Whoever finds it will know how to use it and now will know everything about you, including your grocery list.
4. Never try to understand the manual, give your phone to a teenager and let them tell you how to use it.
5. If you send an e-mail to someone, do not assume they got it, it may be lost in your notes.
I am sure there are many more Blackberry rules to learn, the most important so far is ...
My Blackberry rules me.
If I should loose my precious BB phone, and you find it, would you please scroll through all my personal information and return my phone? If you don't know where I live, turn on the GPS.
And when you come, would you bring the eggs?

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One older, one younger, both strong willed. My Grandma, Irene, was a strong influence in my life. She walked fast, talked fast, baked great and was a fantastic cook. She never shied away from hard work. You could usually tell what she was thinking by the look on her face, however, if she felt the need, she told you outright. With respect, but, no minced words. I like that.
The young woman was me, around the age of 6. I talked fast, walked fast, avoided hard work and always spoke my mind and still have a mouth that lands me in trouble.
We went for a walk, one beautiful fall evening. Grandma was a devout Catholic and her church meant a lot to her. In my house it wasn't much of a deal, I think it was something mom and I did to please Grandma. She decided I really needed to start catechism, so we headed out to church. She told me why we were going and I told her why I wasn't, but we proceeded all the while trying to convince one another of our point of view, she was patient, knowing once I got there I would change my mind. We walked at a nice pace, taking in the scenery, discussing different things, I know she was trying to calm my "nerves".
We arrived, I told her no! She had me poke my head in the classroom to see all the kids my age inside, sitting at desks, ready to be taught. I'm not sure she realized I thought it was nicer outside. Why on earth would I want to spend my evening here? I said no. She had the teacher come out to see me, she was a nice lady. She bent down to my level, smiled and looked me in the eye and really welcomed me to her class. I said NO. Grandma walked around the corner to give me and the nice lady a little time to ourselves. When she came back I said no.
We walked home. This walk showed what my grandma was made of. She walked fast, I was no longer by her side but trying to keep up, I talked, she didn't. We arrived home in record time! I do not remember her saying anything harsh but I knew she was mad. I also didn't care, afterall, I said no.
Grandma eventually won by getting me to go to "special" classes when I was in jr. high, the priest set aside a few lunch hours to give me the gist so I could take my first communion. She was a strong willed woman, so am I. I loved her very much. She was a rock in my childhood. Without her my life would have been very different, her house was safe when mine was not. She passed away this Thanksgiving. We all talked about her work ethic, her loyalty, her great baking and the famous breakfasts at Irenes. She was a wonderful woman, I am lucky to have had her for my grandmother.

Moments change a life. Small moments with big results. Sometimes you see them coming and you know at that very second your life will change, almost as if standing in a whirlwind, nearly breathless. You can be overcome with fear or elation but that moment seizes hold of you. Other times you look back in time and say "That is when it all began." You may look back with fondness, even reliving it in your mind (usually your the hero in the story), relishing a time gone by.
You can run from moments, those you wish to forget. Some people spend their entire life avoiding them at any cost, never realizing in doing so they have been captured. Thrown to and fro in what can be an emotional frenzy of tears, blame, denial or shame.
I have had plenty of great moments, of course, some bad ones too. We all do. It happens to be some of my bad ones stick out in my memory more, maybe I am a pessimist. For years they ruled my life, distrust and anger were direct results of those timepieces. I was captive to them and didn't even know it. Deep down inside something was broken. It took until the year 2001, I was 35, when I realized how broken inside I was. I had to meet the only healer that could free me. It was a series of moments in life, looking back, but, at that time it seemed like one, an instant in a breathless whirlwind of awe. For by grace are ye saved through faith, it is a gift of God, not works, lest any man should bost. Ephesians 2:8-9 My eyes were open as never before, my heart held captive to something new, my healing had begun.
Today will have moments, big and small, noticed and missed. I do not know what they will bring . More moments to come.............

Can you have writer's block on the first day of your blog? Does that mean you should even have a blog? I have a passion for words, usually the spoken. I can talk a mile a minute. I am usually comfortable talking with anyone, you should hear me talk to myself! I find it funny that I should think, I could be a writer of any kind. Does anyone really want to know my opinion about anything? What do we really want to know about one another? I learned something these past months, I have had some health issues, and am still in the process of "getting better". I felt as though I were in a pit, a deep, dark pit. It was cold and lonely. Things hurt both physically and emotionally yet I functioned just fine. I found that some people ask how you are and wait for an answer, some people ask how you are and listen to your answer, and some people ask how you are and care about the answer. I also learned I was in the first catogory, on a good day. When I ask "how are you?" do I care? really..... or do I wait to talk, to give you my opinion, maybe to dismiss the way you feel becuase the way I feel gets in the way. As people, we are created to need one another and to love one another, the first is easy the last.... can I love you if you need me? what if you don't ? and what if I need you and your not there for me, can I still love you? I guess what I have learned is I talk to myself so often I have forgotten to listen to others and to care what they have to say and to care how they are. I hope I won't forget this lesson. I pray I will learn to care enough to see when someone else is in that pit and to ask how they are and care about their answer.