There are two other women in my husband's life.
Two that cause trouble that is.
One is known for her baking, highly offensive to me, as one of my passions is baking.
I can spend the day whipping up chocolate peanut butter cookies, almond biscotti and banana puddin.... and still find my husband hiding in the pantry with HER.
Little Debbie
For 22 years I have not been able to match her nutty bars.
The other is Lola, our GPS.
Usually she is in the drawer at home, tucked safely away, unable to cause conflict.
But...
we let her out this Christmas on a trip to Mississippi.
We headed out hours before a major storm was to hit, planned our route accordingly. She did not understand.
As we neared Minneapolis, she begins to send us the LONG way around the city, I disagree, my husband...completely torn between us....listens to Lola.
Halfway around the loop she says we should head South, I knew this would take us directly into the storm, we argue (Lola and I) and proceed with my plan.
She immediately copped an attitude, insisting for miles we turn around, so long, in fact, we had to shut her off for a while.
Over 60 miles later......she still wants us to do it her way...so I reset her! Ha!
Now I kid you not, she comes back on speaking some other language and I know she said things to me I cannot repeat.
So to get back at me, she won't take the house address we are headed to. Fine!
Should have listened to me in the first place.
Next up Saint Louis
As we approach our exit, I see an unfamiliar sign, she says turn, I panic and say no! This time my husband listens to me.
I never intended we should end up on Lafayette Ave. staring at a barber shop.
We had to rely on Lola to get us out of down town Saint Louis
.
Finally as we approach our destination, Lola has still not acknowledged the street address, I want to call for directions... but my husband wants to listen to her so.....
we end up in some podunk overgrown backyard with a dilapidated truck. (Faint banjo sounds coming from a nearby swamp.)
Now it is 3 am and it is DARK in Mississippi and you don't really want to find yourself in the backyard of gun toting good ole' Southern boy at that time of night.
Tempers rising, we skedaddle out of there to a neutral church parking lot, where... we call for directions.
Should have listened to me.
2 weeks later we arrived home, to 2 feet of snow, -25 degrees and frozen pipes, but Lola is back in her drawer, where she belongs. Little Debbie, however, is still lurking in the pantry.